'My husband hadn't checked in at all': Husband goes to college reunion, his phone dies during a family emergency, wife loses it

Author image for Ben Weiss
Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
May 31, 2023 4:00 PM EDT

The selfie from the husband's friend was definitely the straw that broke the camel's back! This thread was posted to Reddit's r/AmITheA**hole subreddit by u/PrettyHateMachinexxx, the mother of a one-year-old who stayed home one weekend while her husband was in another state partying with his college friends. Granted, this was planned months in advance, and her frustration was not a result of her husband's choice to attend his college reunion.

 

No, her frustration instead began after he neglected to check in with her despite knowing before he left that her grandmother had to go into emergency surgery. On top of that, his phone died and his friend sent a tone-deaf selfie to the Redditor. Let's just say that if this guy wasn't expecting an earful in the morning, then he's officially a moron. Keep scrolling below to see what people had to say in the comments.

 

For more stories like this, here's one about a messy office after the cleaning lady quit.

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  • 01
    Hand - An Hver [PD]
    via John Arano
  • 02
    Font - AITA for flipping out on my husband via text after he let his phone die during a family emergency? So I (34F) and my husband (35M) had a plan this weekend that he would be the next state over for a college reunion while I stayed home with our 1 year old baby. All is fine and well until yesterday right before he was leaving for the party that was at a bar and I got an unexpected call from my parents who also live out of state. I am a nurse so they were asking what they should do with my gr
    via u/PrettyHateMachinexxx
  • 03
    Font - My husband hadn't checked in at all. I got a text from a number that I didn't know that was a drk selfie of some guy and my husband, with zero context. I texted my husband and said that I was worried sick about my grandma and didn't appreciate getting texted dr k selfies from random people. Heard nothing. After an hour I texted the random number and asked if my husband's phone had died and he said "Yes
    via u/PrettyHateMachinexxx
  • 04
    Font - Here's where I may be TA, I texted back "Cool, my grandma is still in emergency surgery I never got a reply to this. About 4 hours later when my grandma survived and was transferred to the ICU I texted my husband how much he had let me down. This turned into a fight where he believes that he he did no wrong because "I knew he was looking forward to this party for two months and he couldn't do anything anyway". I blew up and told him how irresponsible it was for him to get drk and let his
    via u/PrettyHateMachinexxx
  • 05
    Font - and he says that he "Did his due diligence in making himself reachable" and I said that a random number texting me a dr k selfie does not count as him telling me that his phone was dead and that's how I should reach him. He said the name of the bar in passing a few times but I couldn't remember the name and I did not know the name of his hotel. He says I'm just overreacting and it's not a big deal because "it's not like he could do anything from another state" and that he did no wrong, se
    via u/PrettyHateMachinexxx
  • 06
    Font - ETA that the emergency happened right before the party so he was sober at that time and aware that the situation was touch and go. I called him immediately after I had my parents call 911.
    via u/PrettyHateMachinexxx
  • 07
    Font - werealldoomed2022. 11 hr. ago 2 S2 You guys are heartless, individualistic holes. They are a family, he is a partner and a father first, the least he should have done is check in as soon as he knew what was happening and apologize for missing communication earlier. This is the minimum expectation for an adult partner with a small child at home.
    via u/PrettyHateMachinexxx
  • 08
    Font - NTA wishing your grandma a speedy recovery. I can only imagine how alone and scared you must've felt and then the disrespectful dr k selfie on top of that. Your husband should be feeling mortified and needs to properly apologize and show support. 22.7k Reply Share
    via u/PrettyHateMachinexxx
  • 09
    Font - taafp9 11 hr. ago Idk why you're getting so many downvotes. While i can see that he couldn't have done anything from another state, i can also see that it would have been nice of him to have let you know that his phone was dead and you can text his friend if you need him. Also to not hear from him the next morning is upsetting. Is it correct that he didn't know if your grandma was ok or not before he went to bed? That is all not really ok imo.
    via u/PrettyHateMachinexxx
  • 10
    Font - NTA is my final verdict. Your partner should care about you enough to check in, despite not being able to do anything for you. Sometimes "doing something" isn't what's needed, but instead being supportive. 6.6k Reply Share
    via u/PrettyHateMachinexxx
  • 11
    Font - PrettyHateMachinexxx OP 11 hr. ago My grandma was in the process of being sent to a more critical hospital awaiting emergency surgery when he left for the party. 2.6k Reply Share
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  • 12
    Font - WelcomeOblivion45. 11 hr. ago I don't understand all the "yt a" my boyfriend just had a life threatening family emergency were in the same state but it was more than hour away from me to help him, but I had my phone on me all day, I charged my smart watch to make sure if he called or needed to reach me I would be there. When scary things happen you want to know the person you love is willing to drop everything and be there even if not physically, that's why u choose them to be your partne
    via u/PrettyHateMachinexxx
  • 13
    Font - 9to5Academia 11 hr. ago NTA. A supportive partner is someone who checks in regularly during a stressful and scary situation like this. Also, there was the real chance your family would need to be with your grandmother. I honestly can't imagine being able to get hammered and have a great time with old friends when I know my wife is home worried with our 1 year old. To get a drunk selfie is incredibly disrespectful. 2.7k Reply Share
    via u/PrettyHateMachinexxx
  • 14
    Font - o tkuzkuz 11 hr. ago So confused about all the YT A votes. If I was in her partners shoes, I would have checked in more with her. And while yes, there is nothing he could have done from that far away, he still could have provided emotional support which she clearly needed. Also, like why send a drk selfie, seriously? Like she needed to see that when she's stressing out about an emergency with her loved one? NTA. Glad your grandma is doing okay. ✩ 1.7k Reply Share
    via u/PrettyHateMachinexxx
  • 15
    Font - cadaloz1 11 hr. ago NTA since he was sober when he first heard about the situation. Getting drk with buddies v. supporting your partner in a family emergency? He's old enough to know better, and he could have used his friend's phone to check in on you, and nobody needs to get incoherent dr k at his age. What a jerk. 1.0k Reply Share
    via u/PrettyHateMachinexxx
  • 16
    Font - Lil_miss_know_it_all . 12 hr. ago NTA- been in a similar situation. The first person I called was my husband. I needed comfort, reassurance and just to be heard. I am sorry you did not have that experience. don't think it's to much to ask him to step out of party mode to shoot you a text to check in after learning about your grandma. When you have a family you don't get to check out to suit your needs. Same with parenting. Sheesh. 547 Reply Share
    via u/PrettyHateMachinexxx
  • 17
    Font - kimdeal0 10 hr. ago ΝΤΑ I'm concerned about the number of YT A on this post. It's almost as if they don't have real partners, have never had an emergency, or didn't actually read your post? I don't know. But it's really the bare minimum to ask your partner, the person who is supposed to care for you more than anyone else in your life, to at least have their phone on during an emergency. he didn't check in at all (not even the next morning)
    via u/PrettyHateMachinexxx
  • 18
    Font - Like this. My partner would be concerned and would definitely have checked in on me and asked for updates. I probably would have first had to convince them not to immediately start driving home. There was a grave chance that your grandmother was going to pass away. Your partner should want to be there for you if this were to happen. Even if he didn't want to/couldn't drive home, asking him to be available on the phone is the bare minimum. disrupt his plans to "cater to me".
    via u/PrettyHateMachinexxx
  • 19
    Font - This was really would really start to reflect on my relationship if my partner thought that supporting me when a close family member was in danger of passing away was "catering". Like wtf. My partner is my best friend. If someone I cared about passed away, I would want to talk to him first and instinctively. And he wants to be the one I call and wants to be the one to support me and vice versa. ETA: typo 539 Reply Share
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aita relationships husband Party family reddit thread Reddit college parents
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